|Season 1, Episode 3|
|Written by||Mark Schwahn|
|Directed by||Arlene Sanford|
Infants of the Spring
Sweet, Not Lasting
We Are Pictures, or Mere Beasts is the third episode of the first season of The Royals.
The Queen and Princess Eleanor organize separate competing fashion shows. Prince Liam narrowly avoids a disaster.
We open on Cyrus doing drugs and thinking about killing the King, but when he's actually about to do it Simon says that he is reconsidering disbanding the monarchy. That changes Cyrus' mind. In Liam's room, he is hooking up with a model, but he kept picturing Ophelia so they didn't have sex because he says it was complicated. Eleanor starts texting Ophelia because she wants to get information on Jasper so she can have the upper hand, but he knows she is texting Ophelia and says that she won't get any information. He ends up telling her where he was from which was Nevada and that he use to be security at a casino in Las Vegas, but he got too good. Jasper also told Eleanor that he got disowned, but it doesn't bother him. In the next scene it shows Ophelia trying to get away from the paparazzi with success. She also meets this boy named Nick. He gives her a ride to the Cheese Shop because she is afraid that he was some sort of stalker.
Back in the Palace, Queen Helena is trying to make up her mind on what she should wear to the photoshoot. When she decides to wear something purple, Eleanor calls bagsy (British way of saying dibs on something) and purple was all hers, and she photoshopped a picture of Helena on a body of a person wearing lingerie. This upsets Helena and she says that Eleanor is nothing without the monarchy. This causes Eleanor to compete with Helena and she decides to do her own fashion show the same day and time as the Queen's. Eleanor then answers a call right in front of Helena saying that the location was perfect. This causes the Queen to change her location. She got Eleanor's location because Maribel and Penelope told Cyrus, and she called bagsy on it.
Ophelia is still being followed by paparazzi's so she decides to take Nick's offer again to take her to the cheese shop. When she gets home, she makes sure that her father isn't home so she could get information on Jasper for Eleanor. It turns out that Jasper is an orphan and he lived in an orphanage as a child. Liam is stressed out of his mind, so he decides to go to the club with Eleanor. Gemma shows up and when she was driving home with Liam, she drove through the phone booth. To save Liam from the scene, Jasper had to knock him out. Liam gets upset at Jasper because he knocked him out and forced him out of the car wen he wanted to stay in the car to make sure Gemma was alright. When the King asks to see Liam Eleanor says to tell him the truth minus the fact that Jasper punched him in the face because she wanted to win this game fair and square.
Eleanor finally gets a location for her fashion show, she decides to take the Queens old location and take the palace. This upsets the queen, so she says that she has worked so hard on British fashion week, and if Eleanor wins, it will be unforgivable. Later on in the episode you see Eleanor cutting out news articles from the newspaper saying that her fashion show was the best, but when the queen comes in she tells Eleanor that she told the press to say those things because if she succeeds the monarchy succeeds. This upsets Eleanor, so Jasper tries to comfort her by saying that the queen is lying about everything and the press was telling the truth. In the end, the royal family takes their family shoot. When they walk in they are all looking at the people they hate in the family and when they are about to take the picture everyone smiles, pretending to have the perfect family and nothing bad has happened, but behind closed doors they aren't the perfect family and they strongly dislike one another.
- Elizabeth Hurley as Helena Henstridge
- Vincent Regan as Simon Henstridge
- William Moseley as Liam Henstridge
- Alexandra Park as Eleanor Henstridge
- Merritt Patterson as Ophelia Pryce
- Oliver Milburn as Ted Pryce
- Jake Maskall as Cyrus Henstridge
- Tom Austen as Jasper Frost